Thursday, December 31, 2009

Auto-Tune Is Officially Dead

One of Jay-Z's kindest acts was to go on a personal crusade to stop everybody from using auto-tune -- or at least, write one song about it. What was once an occasional commodity, made popular by Zapp & Roger Troutman (and later, Teddy Riley), became a crutch for talentless buffoons and lazy singers to effortlessly modulate the pitch of their vocals. What was once cool, became more annoying than waiting for 3 hours at the DMV, only to be told that you were in the wrong line.

Unfortunately, he rapped in vain as artists continued to abuse the application like musical meth addicts... that is until NOW.

Flavor Flav must have caught wind of Jay-Z's plight & decided to offer his help by single-handedly eradicating any desire to even hear that word again. He has created something so powerful, that some have been rendered sterile within seconds. So, I'm hereby challenging you, the reader to take a gander. Take a look at this masterpiece -- and I dare you not to shed a tear.

Without further ado, I present to you:


Happy new year... bitches.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Monday, August 31, 2009

Random Song of the Week: 8/30

There is truly nothing that I can say to introduce this video... except the following:

Q: What do you get when you cross short shorts, countless gold rope chains and the glorious self-indulgence of the 80s with a no-nonsense tough guy?

A: The song of the week -- "Treat Your Mother Right" by Mr. T. Enjoy... and I dare you not to literally laugh your ass off.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Is Michael Vick the Devil?

I'm not quite certain that I understand, so maybe you can help me out.

Correct me if I'm wrong -- but it was my understanding that the point of incarceration was to remove a criminal from society, thus providing the opportunity for one to reflect on the crimes perpetrated (and as punishment for said actions).

Again, correct me if I'm wrong -- but this is what happened with Michael Vick. He committed an admittedly HEINOUS crime and served 2 years as punishment, in addition to the hundreds of millions in lost salary & endorsements. He had to file for bankruptcy protection as his liquid assets were quickly wiped out. He missed valuable time with his young children, even missing the birth of his youngest daughter. He must live daily with the fact that he allowed something unconscionable to happen on his watch, nearly losing everything that he had in the process. So why was this not enough?

The man hasn't played in the NFL in 3 years but there are some who feel that this is not punishment enough. When the Eagles announced yesterday that they'd signed him, the reaction was so mixed... some immediately sold their season tix online, while some were frothing at the mouth just thinking about the offensive nightmare the Birds could become.

There are some that will never give him a chance to prove that he's learned from his mistakes and that he can become an example for others. The man isn't even 30 years old -- he has PLENTY of time to make things right. Speaking of making things right, I'm further confused by the fact that Donte Stallworth did not generate a fraction of the outrage expressed toward Michael Vick. Let's look at the "tale of the tape" shall we?

Michael Vick
Crime: Financing a vicious dogfighting ring, conducted at a residence that he owned.

Punishment: Two year jail sentence & concurrent NFL suspension, expected to extend into October. Not allowed to own dogs anymore.

Public Reaction: Extreme outrage, to the extent that some would have him killed in the same manner as the dogs.

Donte Stallworth
Crime: Got high & drunk while out partying one night. Drove his luxury car down a busy street and plowed into a motorist, killing him.

Punishment: Thirty day jail sentence & 1 year NFL suspension. Never allowed to drive again. Also made settlement with family as part of his plea.

Public Reaction: Has there been any? This got nowhere near the airtime & scrutiny that Vick got the day the Eagles signed him, let alone since the incident first happened.

And don't even get me started on Rick Pitino...

Sure, the public reacted to Stallworth -- but can anyone in their right mind say that it even compares to Vick? Vick's actions led to the deaths of scores of dogs, while Stallworth got high/drunk and killed a human being. Unless we're giving Stallworth a pass for being inebriated, I just don't get it. Human beings will always come before dogs on my hierarchy, no matter how you slice it. Who would you rather your daughter bring home: a dogfighter or a serial rapist? Again, I'm not saying that it's okay, but I feel like it needs to be put into perspective a bit. Dogfighting is cruel, but deer hunting for sport is even worse in my opinion. Killing those innocent animals just to put a new head on your wall? I guess killing is perfectly moral when you have a license for it.

I'm not saying that Vick is an angel -- I know he screwed up BIG TIME and committed a DEPLORABLE act... but much like a man who has cheated on his wife, he is asking for a second chance. He has paid his debt to society and is looking to become a productive member again. I just ask that we give the man a chance to make good on his promise. Now if he pulls an Adam "Pacman" Jones and relapses by even so much LOOKING at a dog twice, we can revisit this topic... At that point, I can assure you that my post would be short & sweet:


Monday, August 10, 2009

Random Song of the Week: 8/9/09

I'm a year older!

Yes, yes... your favorite non-average male blogger just celebrated a birthday -- by having one of the longest 4-day work weeks known to mankind. If not for one of my best friends coming up to Philly this weekend, I would have nothing to motivate me through it.

Anyway, I was in the mood to cool out again this week... so I present to you my song of the week for 8/9: "Let's Groove" by Earth, Wind & Fire.

Enjoy... and I challenge you to NOT nod your head & sing along!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Random Song of the Week: 8/2/09

I'm back after a week off! I spent a little time up in Toronto for one of my best friend's bachelor parties. Have I ever told you before how much I love that city? Allow me to do so now.

I FUCKING LOVE TORONTO, ONTARIO, CANADA. What a great city! This was proof that my trip there last year was far from a fluke. The people, the parade, the parties, the food, the landscape -- everything... I just wish I could take all of my friends there for one good weeekend.

Anyway, after a nice long weekend in heaven, I was in the mood to cool out... so I present to you my song of the week for 8/2: "A Long Walk" by Jill Scott.

Enjoy... and I challenge you to NOT nod your head & sing along!

Monday, July 20, 2009

Random Song of the Week: 7/19

This week, we're still hanging around in the 80s... I wasn't ready to step away quite yet!

I present to you the song of the week: "Oh Shiela" by Ready For The World.

Enjoy... and I challenge you to NOT nod your head & sing along!